How We Communicate is Important

When  was in Kiev (yes, I know you know I went to the conference, but I WAS in Kiev when this happened) I kept thinking of you, the readers of my blog and how I will post this and post that. One thing I thought about was this advertisement clip. The post was clear to me, the subject, the connection to Theory of Constraints, everything. But by the time I got around to digging it up I could not remember what got me going in the first place. It still feels right, though.

I find this clip has a very powerful message about communication and conflict situations. I suggest you watch it first with the audio OFF! Now before you run it again with the audio on, let me tell you these two actresses are doing a great job here. Of course there is a catch, but I won't tell you what it is, turn on the sound and hear for yourself.

{BTW, I noticed a lot of readers view this blog through a translating site, so if English is not for your ears, I've added a transcript below for the translating tool, as the text is relevant}

Here's what I see here, when we find ourselves conflicting with others we many times get into a "fight" mode. Think back about arguments and fights you've had over the years. As soon as the disagreement starts we become entrenched in our own corner, defending our needs or wants or point of view with all our might. This is greatly intensified if, coming into the 'discussion', we predict the other side will not react as planned. We are armed and ready and so we are ready to misinterpret any of her reactions as a declaration of war. Now, as soon as we go into "fight" mode we turn off "communication" mode and thus we stop listening to others and start listening only to our inner voice. We hear only those things that can serve as "ammunition" in the next "round". Do you remember this Magritte painting?

Well, can you agree that an argument is not communication, then?

As stated here, the Theory of Constraints requires change and it requires cooperation from others. To get others to cooperate with the change offered communication must be used to get buy in and commitment. You can't argue your way into convincing them that you understand and that you have a valuable offer.

The III European TOCICO Conference

I just returned tonight from the conference. My head is still spinning from all the learning and insights I got. It was a very special experience for me and it will probably take me some time to completely process it.
Here are some quick "take away"s I noted down throughout the days:

• People have the means to live but not a meaning to live for - we are no longer fighting to survive, we are looking for a meaning
• We each create the meaning for ourselves, so it is our duty not to interfere or hinder or create obstacles to the ability of others to create their meaning (a tad more on meaning can be found here)
• Success (or failure) do not come from the uniqueness of the product but for the uniqueness of the product
• "Where there is a tail - there is a dog" (attributed to Eli Goldratt) this means that when all you see is a "tail" - a handful of clients with a special need there is a "dog" you don't see - a real market potential for a new offer
• Projects fail because time estimates become time commitments
• Analyze success (better than expected results), not just failure (below expectation results), it holds opportunities you can capitalize on, but only if you can understand them
• TOC implementation requires a paradigm shift, compromising drastically increases the possibility of failure of the implementation
• Win Win offers do not sell themselves, especially when the environment is saturated with suspicion and mistrust
• The conflicts of my clients are my conflicts
• The reason to really learn a subject matter is for improving it
• The bigger the base - the bigger the jump

Let me know if you'd like me to elaborate on any of these, or if there is any particular detail you'd like to know about the conference.